I've been so stressed out the past few days about papers and homework and presentations. I'm graduating next month and I still have so much to do before then.
Yesterday I was trying to work on a paper and I wanted to write, just not the paper. I was listening to worship music and I just wanted to write about my thoughts, not about research.
Some people probably wonder why I blog so much around exam times and when I have big papers due. They probably wonder why I'm using my precious time blogging instead of working on my papers and studying. I wondered the same thing myself. Til I saw this in my homework assignment, which was ironically about writing:
The last line. Research apparently shows that writing is therapeutic. I'd always heard that but wasn't sure if that was opinion. So that must be why I want to write so much around exam time, when I'm stressed out! It's like an escape, and it helps relieve my stress.
Also, I feel like if I write something I enjoy writing, I'll be more in the mood to write my papers. Sometimes it actually works!
On Monday night, my Bible study group from home went to the Hillsong United concert in Greensboro. As the whole coliseum was singing along to "Mighty to Save," I was just overcome with a peace, even if it was just for a little bit. It was like one giant worship session.
Honestly, there are things that I'm really scared about right now. Like, terrified. But I finally decided not to focus on those things and just let God work because obviously He is trying to work and do something big here. If I'm focusing on Him and others and not myself and my fears and my stress, I will be happier and impact other people and get more done and everything will work itself out.
As I listen to worship music to try to make my homework more bearable, my life shifts from matching up with the lyrics of "Red" by Taylor Swift (which is an amazing song by the way) to lyrics like
"shine your light and let the whole world see" and
"everyone needs compassion, a love that's never-failing" and
"I give my life to follow everything I believe in" and
"Savior, He can move the mountains."
Because while losing him is blue and missing him is gray and lovin' him is red,
the only HIM I need to focus on is the One that truly moves mountains as big as the ones I live in.
He can surely move mountains in my life, and I'm trusting Him in knowing that.
This was very therapeutic, by the way.