I've just felt kinda lonely lately. And it's dumb. Because I'm surrounded by lots of wonderful people.
But that's just how it is. I'm kinda going through a rough patch right now, and I think for some reason everything seems a lot worse than it really is. In any case, I've been feeling down, due to some things that are going on right now. Nothing too terrible, just things. Just life. Life is hard sometimes. Life is hard a lot of the time. That's just how life is.
So anyway, I was gonna go to my church this morning like usual, but instead I asked Zach last night at like 11:30 if I could go to church with him and his family. So that's what I did. I went to Sunday school at my church, and then rode with Zach to his church.
God had a plan. He knew how I've been feeling and heard my prayers. It gives me chills to think about how amazing it all turned out. This morning Zach's pastor had planned to speak on finance as the third part of a series he had been doing on Sunday mornings. But he said that at about 1 am, he kept thinking that maybe he should talk about something else that had been laid on his heart. I was amazed at the lesson that followed.
The pastor talked about trials and how life is full of curves being thrown at us and how we have to learn to be happy even in the bad times. He talked about how his first marriage failed and how that was a hard time in his life, and I thought about how he's married now and has a daughter and a grandchild and how God blessed him after he went through that rough patch in his life.
He stressed the fact that humans will fail you. He said not to expect anyone to be perfect. That is something I am struggling with right now. I asked God just yesterday, "Why isn't 'so-and-so' there for me during this hard time? Why aren't these people acting like they care? What have I done to deserve this??" I couldn't see that the answer was clear all along, and I was blind. All the time, I was asking God why people around me weren't comforting me, when the One who IS The Great Comforter was the One that I was talking to! He is the only one I need, He is right there, and I was still asking for more - for human support, not thinking about the fact that God is enough. God is ALL we need.
The pastor said that we cannot choose our circumstances, but we can choose how we respond to them. He said, "we can't choose our river of life, but we can choose the way we stand." It was there, right in my face. The answer to all of the questions I've been asking over the past few weeks.
He also said that trials don't take a vacation. Trials will be there always. God will never ever give us more than He knows we can handle, but trials don't take time off. Lately, I've been saying, "This is such a bad time for all of this to happen. My birthday is coming up, and October is my favorite month, and I just can't handle all this." But what I heard this morning is right. Trials don't say, "we'll give her a break because it's her birthday month." God knows I'm strong and He knows I need to grow spiritually and He knows that I need to learn to fully rely on Him. He knows these trials will make me stronger, and most of all, He knows what's best for me.
I'm going through trials for a reason, and one day (sooner or later), I will see exactly why everything has happened the way it has and I will be so grateful and thank God for the way things turned out. I will continue to have trials, but I hope I will look back at this and remember the sermon this morning.
Finally, we need to remember that God can do anything. He can end our pain and bring happiness like nothing else can. And we just have to be patient and learn to listen to Him and accept His guidance and know that whatever is going on, there WILL be a better tomorrow.
I was almost in tears this morning listening to the message because I just KNEW that God had spoken to me through that pastor. I knew that God had worked it out so that I would be there this morning and so that the pastor would change his sermon and that I would hear that and feel so much better. I am so humbled and feel so close to God. He cares about each and every one of us so very much.
God is so good!