Skip to main content

About Me

My photo
Follower of Jesus Christ. Lover of people. Lover of animals. High Point University graduate. Appalachian State graduate. High school English teacher. AXΩ.

"Dating Won't Cure a Lonely Heart"

I'm reading the BEST dating book (although I said I'd never read one - but it's a Christian dating book). It's called Boundaries in Dating and it's by Drs Henry Cloud and John Townsend. The chapter I just read is called "Dating Won't Cure a Lonely Heart." This chapter was the shortest, yet most packed with punch so far. It perfectly describes the reasons why I used to date and why they were wrong. I'm gonna write more on this book but I just wanted to share these few things that I highlighted today:

Don't settle and give in to a bad relationship rather than have no relationship at all. -- Don't put up with behavior that is disrespectful. 
Don't give into things that aren't in accord with your own values. 
Don't settle for less than you desire or need. 
Don't stay in a relationship that you know has passed its deadline. 
Don't go back to a relationship you know should be over. 
Don't get into a relationship you know isn't going anywhere. 
Don't smother the person you are dating with excessive needs or control. 

^^These are all things people do when they date to cure loneliness. They always want a relationship and desire it so much that they lose focus of what's really important. 

"Your dating is ruled by your internal isolation, rather than by your God, your goals, values, and spiritual commitments."

You should be "alone long enough to grow into a person who does not have to have a relationship to be happy."

!!!!! "To be happy in a relationship, and to pick the kind of relationship that is going to be the kind you desire, you MUST be able to be happy WITHOUT one." !!!!!!!!!!!

"Cure that fear (of aloneness) first, and then find a relationship."


Strengthen your relationship with God. 

Strengthen relationships with "safe, healthy Christians." You need God but you also need people. 
"If you try to have a romantic relationship to meet your needs for healing, it is not going to work. You need a support system."

"Be vulnerable" with these people! And with God.

"Many people have a lot of friends but those friendships are not meeting their deepest needs."

"Make sure that in some of these relationships (FRIENDSHIPS) you are allowing yourself to be dependent, have needs, express pain and hurts."

Be ACTIVE!!!!!!!!

The active growing life does not have the time or inclination to be dependent on a date. The more you have a full life of relationship with God, service to others, and interesting stimulating activities, the less you will feel like you need a relationship in order to be whole." !!!!!!!!!

"As you grow spiritually, you are going to naturally be closer to others and get a fuller life. The whole person is not a dating addict. He or she is happy and fulfilled."

Psalm 1:3 --
"He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."

"The whole life is a full life. And the by-product of fullness is that the fulfilled person is also a very attractive one."

Follow these guidelines and "you will not be subject to saying yes when you should be saying no."

Wow. Good wake-up call. 

Happy Friday! 



  1. I love this! Thank you for these inspiring words, it has helped me this week.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SSP for Warby Parker!

A couple years ago a friend told me about this really trendy site where she ordered her eyeglasses. I had asked her where she got such cute eyewear and her answer was  "Warby Parker!"
I went to the website and was overwhelmed by all the choices! Not only were the glasses trendy, but there were many traditional looks, and awesome colorful frames as well. There were countless options for both men and women, in prescription glasses, non-prescription, AND sunglasses!
I feel like sporting glasses rather than contacts has made a comeback in a big way, and now glasses are an accessory and make a bold statement to complete your look in addition to helping you see.
If you order from WP, you can have FIVE pairs sent to you if the glasses are "available for try-on" before you actually buy them! I have a friend who did this, and it was so easy and fun. I feel like many times, people are wary of ordering frames online since they can't try them on and see how they look, but Warb…

Riches I Need Not, Nor Man's Empty Praise

I haven't written anything on here since MARCH. ...not anything from my own spiritual journey. I've done promotions for two companies and that's all I've posted. I am realizing that when I write, I am a better person. I can't believe I haven't written on here in seven months. It makes me sad. I've felt a void!

Ironically, though, what I came here to write is the same topic as what I last posted about - what others think. I found a version of "Be Thou My Vision" that I really love about a month ago, so it's been on repeat. As I'm busy with everything going on in life, I have to constantly remind myself to keep my eyes set on Christ. The line that has stuck out to me the most over the past month is
"Riches I need not, nor man's empty praise."

I'm teaching 9th and 11th grade this semester. In both classes we are reading books set in the Great Depression. We've had discussions (sometimes debates) about how money can't …

Fix My Eyes on You

On the day I called You answered me And the hope in my soul increased I lift my hands And turn my eyes To the God who heals my heart And gives me peace
You are more than My words could ever say You are Lord over all Over all of my days I will see this season through I will fix my eyes on You Only You ~Hillsong
I heard this song for the first time the other day when I was really anxious about some stuff during my planning period at work. I didn't feel good and my mind was a little overwhelmed.  During those times when my mind is so boggled, it's hard to just sit back and have peace.  During those tumultuous times when it seems like everything is going the opposite of what you'd planned and everything seems to spin out of control, it's hard to remember that God, the Creator of all being, is in control. During those times of change and confusion, it's hard to trust that everything is working out just the way God has planned it to. During those times when life's just p…