Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Godly Relationships

"love blogs" day 2

Disclaimer: I am in no way perfect. No one has a perfect relationship. I am growing and learning, just like anyone else.
Many years of mistakes and learning experiences have taught me a few things about relationships.
And I'd like to share some of them, and give advice (and you didn't even have to ask for it!).
And when I say "mistake," I don't mean mistake mistake. I mean "learning experience." Everything that has happened to me has been for my growth and made me stronger. Don't equate "mistake" with "regret

And like I said, these are just a few. Just a few.
Mistake #1: Dating someone because he's popular.
Don't date a guy because he's popular. Often times, popularity is a negative thing. Especially in high school boys. Just saying. I've found that the very best guys don't have that many guy friends because they don't conform to the norm, and therefore aren't popular.
[[I will say, though, that there are exceptions, as there are to any rule, and I'm not about stereotyping. That's not what I want to do here.]]
Mistake #2: Dating someone because he has a nice car/truck.
This is just dumb. If the only reason you're dating someone is because of his means of transportation, you're shallow. I've done it. I've been shallow. NO GOOD!
Mistake #3: Thinking you can change someone.
Don't date someone because you like most things about him, but he has a few things you don't agree with, and you think you can change those things. Nine times out of ten, you can't
Biggest Mistake: Thinking I had control of my own destiny.
I'm not in control. God is. And I failed many times to realize and acknowledge that. I thought I could pick who I would be with and I could control how the relationship went. But no.
Biggest Biggest Mistake: Dating someone who wasn't on fire for God
Okay, so maybe I could've just shared that mistake because that one mistake is the main issue with all of these. 
For me, as a Christian, I should've looked for ONE thing every single time I thought about dating someone. I should've asked myself, "Is he on fire for God? Is he saved? Is he going to respect me as a woman of God and treat me accordingly?"
But for a while, I didn't. I thought I could date any guy and that my relationship with God would rub off on him, and he'd have a relationship with God because of me.
That is 99% of the time NOT how it works!
It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized that (or finally listened to what I'd heard all my life)
if I was really patient,
and if I prayed specifically for a godly, funny, sweet, thoughtful guy,
and if I didn't date anyone else unless they were all these things,
and if I made SURE that the next guy had a good relationship with God,
then God would send me someone who was a million times better than
anything I'd ever expected or asked for.
Right now, take a moment to re-read the quote on the picture at the top of this blog.
I can guarantee you girls/ladies/women that if you first work on your relationship with the Lord, and make sure it's right, and focus on Him, and pray for His will for you as far as a mate, you'll be in the right spot.
I personally believe that God prepares a man and a woman individually before He allows them to have a relationship. If your priorities are right (and we all struggle with this, I know), you'll seek God first. Praise Him for what you have. Ask Him for what you desire. But make sure you have a good, strong relationship with Him first.
And wait.
While you are doing this -
He is preparing the RIGHT man for you. After all, He knew before you were even created who He had planned for you!
Isn't that awesome??
He is working in that guy's heart, and preparing his heart to love you in the best way possible.
He is preparing that guy to respect and honor you, just like He is preparing you to respect and honor that guy.
He is drawing that guy close to Him and guiding him to make the right decisions, and feel convicted when he doesn't.
So eventually, and ONLY ON GOD'S TIME - NOT ON YOUR TIME,
you will meet this special guy.
Let's back up. I said ON GOD'S TIME.............
So many girls want to be married by a certain time and have kids by a certain time. Everyone has a life plan. But guess what?!?!? That plan means NOTHING! God is sovereign, and His plan is the only one that means anything.
We think we know what's best for us, but we don't.
God not only knows what's best for us, but He often times keeps us safe from harm by allowing certain events that WE think are tragic or not in our plan.
God can allow a bad breakup to make room for someone 100 times better.
Also, GOD IS IN CONTROL. Remember that.
Remember that.
Remember that.
Remember that.
Give it up. Give it all to God. Give God 100% control.
And see what happens.

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