Friday, March 8, 2013

Kicking Myself!!!! BLAH

Yesterday was kind of bittersweet for me because I finished another journal - ran out of pages.
I've been writing in this journal for almost TEN years, which is why it was so bittersweet.
The very first entry is from the night before my 15th birthday. I was a new high schooler, scared to turn 15, and excited to be filling a new journal.
I feel like in a way, I've let myself down by not writing as much as I should have in that journal.
So much has happened in my life in the past TEN years - way more than would fit in ONE single journal.
I feel like I've failed myself by not writing as much
(especially since before this one, I went through like 2 journals in 2 years).
AND, half the journal is filled with special texts from people that I wanted to save, so I wrote them down......geeze.
At the same time, I feel like I'm closing a whole decade of my life - a whole, big, condensed written chapter, and starting a new one.
Granted, I did write and record all of the most important times of my life in this journal. The most important things are there, and that's good.
And for the past year and a half, I've had this blog, so I didn't write as much, thinking I'd just print off my blog entries and put them in my journal, which I'll probably do.
As you can see, I'm a HUGE fan of blogging, but I also think it's still important to keep a pen and paper journal. And now that I'm done with this one, and I've been reading through it, I've been inspired to turn many of my old journal entries into blog entries, which will be verrrry interesting:)
Anyway, here is what I wrote yesterday, as my last entry in this journal:
Thursday, March 7, 2013
I cannot believe I'm done with this journal. This is TEN years of stuff!! (Well, 9.5...)
I should have 5 or 6 journals jam-packed with stuff over these past ten years. Idk why I have all of high school AND college AND one semester of grad school in here! There's so much more I could've written. But that's just motivation to do better!
When I started this journal, I was 14 years old. I remember sitting at my desk, in my room, writing about turning 15 the next day.
Now, I sit here in the reading clinic at Appalachian, looking out the window at a snowy, cold day in Boone. A 24-year-old grad student.
It's cool to see how far I've come since I was that 14-year-old, new high schooler.  This is bittersweet! But now I can use the awesome journal Zach got me :)
P.S. WOW- just reading through this - HALF of this journal is just texts! Geeze - I REALLY didn't journal as much as I should have!
:( BOO.
oh well. what can you do now, right?
(good thing I'm super good at remembering things)

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