Thursday, December 27, 2012

On Second Thought...

So I just wrote a blog entry out of confusion/anger/discomfort/whatever (refer to previous post).
Then I watched Honeygirl wake up, get out of her bed, and do "number one" on the floor, while I yelled "STOP! STOP! STOP!"
There was no controlling it. For me or her.
So there it is.
What can I do, it's 3am.
I shrugged, went upstairs, took my makeup off, put warm PJs on, and put my retainer in.
And as I was doing those things, I thought about something.
"Beth, you maybe shouldn't have written that blog post a few minutes ago. I know it's late and you're confused and tired and all, but don't turn into your 19-year-old "life is SO not fair" self. You've come a looooooooong way since then, and you need to show it!
So there you have it folks. My attitude did a 360 somewhere between Honeygirl doing her business on the floor and me coming back downstairs from getting ready for bed.
I don't know why some nights I'm so tired that I fall asleep at 11:00 in my clothes and makeup, and other nights I can stay up til 4am writing and not get the least bit sleepy.
I don't know why life doesn't seem fair sometimes.
I don't know why I'm happy and sad at the same time half the time.
I don't know anything apparently, because I confuse the heck outta myself.
I don't know what God is doing in my life right now, but I know He's doing SOMETHING BIG because I can feel it!
AND I don't know why the dog randomly had to use the bathroom at 3 am on the floor in front of my eyes as I watched helplessly.
I couldn't control it.
Just like I can't control my life's circumstances.
All I can do is pray and constantly remind myself of this:
God is in control and I DON'T NEED TO BE!!!!
So I will trust Him.
And I will NOT worry!

(I'm posting this stuff mainly to remind myself of these things, but also in case anyone else is feeling this way, MAYBE IT WILL HELP!!!!!!!)

Life is a crazy ride, oh, but it's a wonderful one.

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