On Second Thought...

So I just wrote a blog entry out of confusion/anger/discomfort/whatever (refer to previous post).

 

Then I watched Honeygirl wake up, get out of her bed, and do "number one" on the floor, while I yelled "STOP! STOP! STOP!"

There was no controlling it. For me or her.

So there it is.

What can I do, it's 3am.

 

I shrugged, went upstairs, took my makeup off, put warm PJs on, and put my retainer in.

 

And as I was doing those things, I thought about something.

 

"Beth, you maybe shouldn't have written that blog post a few minutes ago. I know it's late and you're confused and tired and all, but don't turn into your 19-year-old "life is SO not fair" self. You've come a looooooooong way since then, and you need to show it!

GOD IS IN CONTROL!"

 

So there you have it folks. My attitude did a 360 somewhere between Honeygirl doing her business on the floor and me coming back downstairs from getting ready for bed.

 

I don't know why some nights I'm so tired that I fall asleep at 11:00 in my clothes and makeup, and other nights I can stay up til 4am writing and not get the least bit sleepy.

 

I don't know why life doesn't seem fair sometimes.

 

I don't know why I'm happy and sad at the same time half the time.

 

I don't know anything apparently, because I confuse the heck outta myself.

 

I don't know what God is doing in my life right now, but I know He's doing SOMETHING BIG because I can feel it!

 

AND I don't know why the dog randomly had to use the bathroom at 3 am on the floor in front of my eyes as I watched helplessly.

I couldn't control it.

 

Just like I can't control my life's circumstances.

 

All I can do is pray and constantly remind myself of this:

 

God is in control and I DON'T NEED TO BE!!!!

So I will trust Him.

And I will NOT worry!


(I'm posting this stuff mainly to remind myself of these things, but also in case anyone else is feeling this way, MAYBE IT WILL HELP!!!!!!!)

 

 

Life is a crazy ride, oh, but it's a wonderful one.
 

 

 

 

 

 

eBa