Wednesday, September 30, 2015

My Biggest Problem

My Facebook status on Sunday evening as soon as I left church:
"Completely WRECKED! The Lord spoke to me loud and clear and wrecked my heart this evening at a service at a church I'd never been to before. I cannot wait to write about it!"

This is why:
I've been wanting to visit this church nearby for a while now, because I really enjoy visiting churches. I enjoy worshiping the Lord in different ways, meeting fellow believers, making connections, hearing the Word taught in different ways, etc. I am not looking to leave Oak View; I absolutely love it there!

With that being said, I went to Mercy Hill on Sunday evening, in the pouring rain, alone (I like doing things by myself when I can!). I had tried to go the week before and meet a friend there, but accidentally took a three hour nap and missed it (these naps are killin' me lately). To be honest, I was there mainly to meet people, and not as focused on learning more about the Lord. So boy did it hit me like a ton of bricks when I heard the message...

*It's important to know that all throughout the week last week, I would take Emery on our evening walks and pray a lot about two things that are heavy on my mind right now - two things that I've been waiting for for a long time, and it seems like they'll never happen at this point. I'm the most patient person in the world, but my patience is wearing thin, and I'm growing antsy. I talked to God a lot about these things last week, and told Him that if I had these two things, I could truly be content and happy (yes, I knew that was wrong thinking even when I said it). I just kept thinking, "I have dream job number one (I have lots of dream jobs), and I'm completely happy with work right now. I just need two more things to fall into place and everything will be perfect."

So THAT was my mode of thinking as I went to Mercy Hill...
THESE were the notes I took on the message:

❤️A Great Savior Meets Our Greatest Need❤️

The obvious need is not the most essential need
(As he started speaking, I was caught by surprise - it was almost as if God was speaking directly 
to me.)
Deeper issues
You need the right relationship with God
He wants to meet a need that goes deeper than our obvious need. 
(My need for salvation and being RIGHT with Him... the need for growth and contentment in Him. He wants to do MORE for me than what I have asked of Him....?!?!?!)
We all have a much bigger problem than we realize - 
"The reason you came to Mercy Hill isn't the real reason why you're here"
(This is where I started to tear up a little. The pastor might as well have just said "BETH. GOD WANTED ME TO TELL YOU THIS!!!!")
"If I could just have this or that, then everything in my life would be perfect and I would be okay. If this problem could be fixed, I'd be okay."
(I might as well have been the only person in the room.
The PROBLEM is, we don't know what the problem is! 
Idolatry is the problem!
(I've made an idol out of these two things that I want so much! THAT'S it! I've been letting these two things take precedence in my thoughts, when the Lord should always be number one! Anything that takes our thoughts captive is an idol!)
He forgave our sins, and that was the biggest problem we had. 
No matter our biggest problem, we can still fulfill His plan for us and have joy and happiness because our sins are forgiven. 
Jesus isn't just our miracle-worker --- He IS our miracle!!!
(We need to stop treating Jesus like a genie in a bottle, asking Him for things and not first being 100% grateful for what He has done for us. Never should we be upset when things aren't going our way because He already did for us what we needed MOST! He will still hear and answer our prayers, but there is no need to get bent out of shape and forget that He IS the miracle - not just the miracle worker. Yes, He will work miracles in our lives, but the most important one was making a way for us to be forgiven and set free from our sins, breaking the power of Hell, and allowing us to have a relationship with Him if we so choose. 
When you put it that way, my "big" problems aren't really so big at all.)

He's gonna provide for me what I need.
He's gonna give me the desires of my heart.
He's not gonna leave me high and dry.
BUT, what I need to do is fully trust in Him and His timing and stop letting these things become idols in my life. I need to fill my mind with heavenly things, and not these little issues that I have. He has already planned my entire life out. I could tell Him all day what I want, but I know from experience that He has better things in mind than I could ever ask or imagine.
Me worrying and letting my thoughts be hijacked by these "problems" is a total waste. 

It's crazy how even though I went to Mercy Hill for the not-so-right reasons, God met me there still, and sent the message that I needed to hear most. He loves us so much that He puts us in the right place at the right time, and gently corrects us when we need correcting. My mind was just blown. My eyes filled with tears multiple times throughout the message. I was truly wrecked. He tore down the walls in my heart.

I didn't feel reprimanded or ashamed. I just felt loved. So loved. So taken care of. So excited to see what He will do as I focus on Him and grow in Him. 


1 comment:

  1. Wow, Beth! What an amazing testimony of what he is doing in your life. Thank you for sharing!